Funny, I am home, but I have been homesick. I ask why and for what? Home is where I am. We all carry home with us or do we?
I remember when I began this trip to Paris, I caught myself saying I'm going home... I have been left with numerous thoughts about why I would; one, think of Paris as home and; two, why would I feel homesick now. I think I figured it out.
The first time I went to Paris it was at 15 with my Mom. My mom has since passed to another realm. I like to say she is on her world tour. It was mom's dream to have an European education but WW2 preempted it. So, you might say I fulfilled a portion of that dream for her by going to school in France. I was and am still very close to my Mom. You may or may not relate. Surely there is that special connection you have with someone who is always nearby in a thought. I think I went home to Paris to find mom. Odd to think it was my turn, I was mom with Nick in tow. It was very much like my first trip...so much so that there were things I meant to accomplish while there that never happened.
Moving on...homesick. The more I look at it the more I understand. Most of our time there involved family, family gatherings, meals, trips, activities...it was not my normal life. My life is as far removed from family as any other empty nester business owning person without a spouse or significant other...I work, seldom socialize and find myself dining alone most always. Don't get me wrong, that's the life I created...but it dawned on me how important family is and if you or someone else doesn't take the time to pull the troops together there is no family. Mothers are good about that. I know my mom kept things and us in order especially around the holidays...I know my job now and have fully embraced it.
Just coming off this "homesick" feeling I have decided to create as much family feeling in my life as possible...beginning at my little restaurant O's. Thanks to Jessica reminding me how I am surrounded by family.
My extended O's family is 30 strong, not to forget all of our loyal clients and newcomers. Jessica my friend and the GM of our restaurant, the staff and I began by decorating O's for the holidays, then Jess helped me pick out my Christmas tree. She picked a beauty! While looking for ornaments I came across all of my cookie cutters, so I decided to make a Christmas cookie party and then I had the great idea to reach out to the community and advertise our O's Bistro's Christmas Cookie Contest with prizes and all...you have to have prizes after all I bet we get to taste a lot of great cookies...my family is growing see how this works...Call me crazy, then I called up my ex-husband and asked him to invite all of his family, their families and I added a few of my friends (since my family is in Texas and my 2 brothers aren't talking to one another, even at Christmas) to Christmas Dinner at my house. Nick will be home from school and he will have his driver's license so he will not only be a big help, but will get to see all of his family and friends...Our family continues to grow with the addition of our O's family New Year's Day party upon the Fairwind's cruise...we are off that day...all we have to do is rest and relax together laughing, swimming, snorkeling and just enjoying ourselves...
Well, as you can probably tell, I am not homesick anymore. I have a lot of "home" to enjoy. I must say this to Frank and Michelle, thank you for helping me find home again by making me and Nick a part of yours. After all home is where we find it within each of us, it is in our hearts. I'm home...
Happy Holidays...here's my favorite Christmas sweet, my mom's fudge. Please make it and make your own innovations by using different chocolates, flavorings, dried fruits and nuts...
Mom's Fudge
12 oz. Chocolate (your preference, mom always used semi sweet)
14oz Eagle Brand Condensed Milk
1 Tbsp. Butter, unsalted
1tsp. vanilla extract
2 cups Powdered Sugar (10x)
1 cup Nuts (mom used pecans)
Melt the chocolate over a double boiler. Add milk. Cook until thick. Cool to room temperature add remaining ingredients.
Spoon fudge in small bite size spoonfuls onto waxed paper or parchment. Allow it to dry firm to touch, not rock hard.
Tricks: don't over cook! Mix sugar in thoroughly until the appearance is satiny. Don't spend too much time spooning out or fudge will get hard. If you don't dry the fudge will mildew, especially in this climate.
That's it so go out and experiment...Yes they packaged mixes...but why buy them when you have the b est fudge recipe and it's this easy to do.
In addition I want to share Maria's Shortbread cookie dough recipe...it is very versatile...Jess says it's very close to my favorite French cookie the Sable which is a shortbread...but there is a flavoring I need to add to make it exact and I have yet to find it. I will post it shortly... Meanwhile here's a Madeleine Cookie recipe
Madeleines:
10 tablespoons (6 ounces) unsalted butter, melted
2 eggs
1/2 cup sugar
Pinch salt
6 tablespoons sifted cake flour
1 teaspoon lemon zest
Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F. Butter 2 madeleine pans (with 12 molds each) using 2 tablespoons of the melted butter, and set the pans aside.
Combine the eggs, sugar, and salt in a medium-sized mixing bowl. Place the bowl over a pot of gently simmering water and stir constantly. Once the ingredients are warmed through and the sugar has dissolved, remove the bowl from the heat. Using an electric mixer, beat the mixture until it is pale yellow, light, and slightly thickened. Fold in the sifted flour, remaining butter, and lemon zest.
Use a small spoon to drop a generous tablespoonful of batter into each mold of the prepared pans. Bake until the batter is set like a cake and golden brown, about 12 to 15 minutes. Release the madeleines from the pans and cool on a parchment paper lined cooling rack.
Yield: 24 cookies